I feel great
I just peed on a car
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
