Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
