ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Come see our sink grown plant.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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