im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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