dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
