I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
