She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You were trust falling into bushes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
