That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
