I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
