The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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