I think my vagina is haunted
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
