was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
