I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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