i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize