your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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