I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
