do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
