No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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