I'm gonna have a badass scar
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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