Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize