What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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