oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
