Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
