i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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