Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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