I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I could fuck to npr.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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