I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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