Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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