why didn't you poke me back
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
