Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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