somebody snuck up and got me drunk
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
