Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize