I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
