You're so nebulous sometimes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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