So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
