In the future we'll all be gay
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
love makes seman taste better
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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