Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
