smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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