After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
