ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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