So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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