shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
