Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
