I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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