i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
