i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
