She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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