This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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