the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize