You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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