google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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