ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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