We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
