I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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