weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
