singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
this boner is exhausting
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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