somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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