I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
