you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
