Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am naked and annoyed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
