there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
