i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
