i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
