i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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