Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize