in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
