don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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