Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
