You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
