Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
