doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
