Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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