I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
