he was CRYING into my vagina
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
